The Etiquette of Traveling With Kids

A friend of mine just returned from a European holiday with this story: Their hotel was a small and charming one tucked away in the countryside. There were only 50 or so guests, including an affluent American family with two young daughters who were about six and seven years old. My friend saw the girls everywhere—at breakfast, in the lobby, in the courtyard—but could never quite figure out who their parents were. One day she saw the little girls at the pool, where they were telling some other guests that their parents had decided to take a nap but had agreed to let them go to the pool unattended because other guests were in the area. Another guest came by and asked the girls, who by this time were in the pool by themselves, where their parents were. When they responded “in the room,” the woman then asked, “Who is babysitting you?” The other guests laughed because they were all thinking the same thing—the parents had just assumed that everyone else would keep an eye on their children for them.

On my friend’s final day at the hotel, she went down to breakfast and again saw the girls by themselves, as their parents had decided to sleep in. Soon the girls started goofing off and “playfully” threw things at a couple they had befriended during their stay, forcing the husband to repeatedly ask them to stop. Finally, another guest stormed off to reception and demanded that the parents be called on to take control of their kids.

My friend and the guests she spoke to were all appalled at the parents’ behavior. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girls, who had been abandoned by their folks in favor of, it seems, a few extra hours of sleep. Not only is that dangerous, but it put a greater burden on the hotel staff and the other guests, who wanted to enjoy some peace and quiet without having to feel like an unpaid babysitter.

If you are traveling with children, keep a careful eye on them and don’t assume that other people want to give up their precious vacation time for your sake. It’s understandable to want a moment of personal time without the kids, but it’s better to swap “shifts” with your spouse, arrange for childcare through your hotel, or look into day camps or classes that your children can enjoy.

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Practicing Good Hotel Etiquette

Do you travel a lot for business or pleasure? A lot of people seem to leave their manners at home when they go away, which is why I decided to share some essential hotel etiquette guidelines. Be a good guest!

Keep the noise down. Be considerate of your neighbors by keeping the TV volume low and not raising your voice in your room or in the hallway. Don’t slam your door, either—it could easily wake someone up.

Leave a tip for housekeeping. I always try to leave a few dollars behind for the housekeeping crew that has kept my room nice and tidy over my stay. They’ve earned it!

Reduce your energy usage. Just because you aren’t paying the energy bills doesn’t mean you should leave the room with the air conditioner blasting or the lights left on. Do a quick check before you head out to make sure everything is turned off.

Don’t leave a room service mess. I hate seeing unsightly trays of picked-over food sitting for hours outside a hotel room. I’ve also seen people leave out empty pizza boxes, and some even leave their tray in front of another guest’s room. It’s unsanitary and inconsiderate to others. Instead, once you’ve finished your meal, try placing a call down to room service or housekeeping to politely notify them that your tray is ready for removal, so it gets taken care of right away.

Report problems that could affect others. An acquaintance of mine recently stayed in a major hotel chain and woke up with several bug bites. She suspected bed bugs, and wanted to report it to the front desk to prevent an outbreak, but her husband told her she was probably overreacting. They left without saying anything. Later her husband noticed that he too had bug bites, and they’ve since confirmed it was due to bed bugs. If she had reported the issue right away, she could have prevented future guests from being exposed … and possibly gotten some sort of compensation from the hotel.

Don’t steal. A hotel toiletries are fair game, but leave those plush bathrobes and blankets where they belong.

 

President Obama’s Royal Etiquette Mishap

Even heads of state make etiquette blunders—especially when royalty is involved. Last time the Obamas visited Britain’s royal family, the First Lady ruffled feathers by touching the Queen (a big no-no, apparently). Last week, it was the President’s turn to cause a minor breach of protocol by talking over British national anthem.

Here’s how it happened: While addressing dinner guests, Pres. Obama said “I propose a toast to her majesty, the queen.” Unbeknownst to him, these words were a cue to the band, who began playing “God Save the Queen.” He had no choice but to finish his speech by talking over the music, as guests stood in salute. The Queen herself did not raise her glass until the anthem had finished playing. 

Of course, you could argue that the band was to blame for the mishap. Still, if I were Pres. Obama, I would be very upset at my international protocol team. It would have been prudent of them to have had the speech approved by someone with a wealth of experience on royal protocol in order to avoid any etiquette breaches.

If you’re travelling abroad, I urge you to brush up on the country’s culture and etiquette guidelines. Making certain gestures or greeting someone with a particular hand can be considered a major slight in some regions. And while it’s unlikely you’ll have to give a speech toasting the Queen, having a good grasp of local customs will help you avoid an unpleasant encounter.

International Travel Etiquette: What You Need To Know

My husband Bernie and I are about to head to Europe for a much-needed vacation. As such, I’m brushing up on my international travel etiquette. Even though I spent a lot of time growing up in France and Venezuela, I still find myself on uncertain footing in places that are foreign to me. But that’s part of the fun! Challenge yourself to be a better traveler by following these travel tips:

-Learn a little language. If you’re visiting a country where English is not the mother tongue, do yourself and the locals a favor by learning at least a few key phrases. You needn’t be fluent in French, but it will greatly help you be more independent and respectful—why rely on others to speak English? For starters, teach yourself the sayings for hello, goodbye, excuse me (in case you accidentally bump into someone), please, thank you, how much, and where. Don’t get frustrated if you stop and ask a local for directions and they don’t speak English.

-Walk this way. Observe the rules of traffic. In the UK people, like cars, tend to walk on the left, which is the opposite of how we walk here in the States. They also have “zebra crossings,” which are black and white striped road crossings (Beatles fans will recall the iconic Abbey Road photo) which give pedestrians the right of way. If you have rented a car, you must stop at these crossings if a pedestrian is present. If you are walking, go ahead and cross—standing there and waving cars on will only slow traffic further.

-Brush up on local etiquette. Every country has its own set of mores. In some areas it’s considered offensive to use the left hand when waving or handing over money. In other countries, being showy or loud can rub others the wrong way. I recommend reading the etiquette section of your guidebook before you go. As a general rule, though, being polite and having good manners will get you far!

-Roll with the punches. Every culture has its own customs, some of which may seem odd or unconventional to us. We may be served food that we wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. However, it’s always best to be respectful and enjoy the ride. Acting like a baby or a giggling five-year-old is rude. After all, why even leave the house if you expect everything to be just like home?

Practicing Good Travel Etiquette

My husband and I love to travel, but time and time again our trips have been marred (though thankfully not completely!) by those who practice poor travel etiquette. Some people seem to leave their manners at home when they go on vacation, and it can turn an idyllic journey into a stressful, unpleasant experience. As we head into summer, let’s try to make a good impression abroad by following these etiquette pointers:

-Be quiet. I seem to always get stuck next to the person blaring loud music out of their iPods, or chatting loudly on their cell phones about personal matters. I know some trains offer quiet coaches that ban these activities, but wouldn’t it be nice if everyone just respected each other and turned the volume down? The same goes for when you’re watching TV in your hotel room, or having a boisterous conversation during dinner in a nice restaurant. (Remember: One person’s friendly American is another’s unbearably loud, obnoxious stereotype.)

-Be patient. I’m still shocked when I see grown people push each other to get off airplanes, or storm onto a train or bus without waiting for other people to disembark. What’s the rush? It also helps to be patient when trying to communicate in a foreign country. The locals are being patient to help you… the least you can do is do the same! So many people visit foreign places and expect everyone to speak English. When they find that’s not the case, they get upset. I’ve been watching “The Amazing Race” and one contestant has constantly belittled those who couldn’t speak English (even when she was in China). In last night’s finale she arrived in the US and hopped in a cab driven by a man with an Asian accent. Instead of working with him to get to her destination, she bemoaned his language skills and called him a “dumbass”—to his face. Talk about an “Ugly American.”

-Be prepared. Whether you’re traveling to the Ozarks or Istanbul, you should always do some research before you go. Learn some key phrases, get an understanding of the place’s geography and customs, and make a real effort to be independent and informed. Don’t just expect some local to take you by the hand and guide you to everywhere you want to go—not unless you’re paying them!

With a little effort you can get more out of your vacation and make the experience more enjoyable for you and everyone around you. Traveling is supposed to be fun, remember?

When in Rome: Traveling with Foreign Language Skills

My husband and I love to travel, and thankfully, growing up in France and Venezuela has proved useful when we’re trying to speak to locals. But when I don’t have the benefit of speaking the language, I always make an effort to teach myself key phrases and bring a dictionary with me wherever I go. Why? Because, in addition to making it much easier for me to communicate with the locals, it shows respect for their culture.

Oftentimes, travelers take it for granted that people will be able to speak English wherever they go. Why bother to do any research when you can make the concierge, waiter or cab driver do the hard work? I’ve even seen people get upset when they are asking for directions or ordering at a restaurant and nobody speaks English. I’m shocked at the sense of entitlement. Not only does it make them seem like an Ugly American, but it shows a lack of respect for the country they are visiting. If you wanted to speak English and feel surrounded by familiar things on your vacation, you should have stayed at home.

But think about it: If a stranger approached you on the street and asked for directions in, say, German, you’d feel flustered. If that stranger then got upset because you couldn’t speak German, you’d be annoyed. Yes, English is a more common language, but it still doesn’t make it right to rely on others to have language skills better than our own.

Next time you are booking a trip in a foreign country, pick up a language dictionary and make an effort to learn some crucial phrases. Oftentimes the staff at hotels and restaurants will pick up that you’re American and speak English if they can, but it’s good to be able to get around on your own skills. One trick I’ve learned is to write out a word and how it’s pronounced on a post-it, which you can stick up on your bathroom wall or closet door—anywhere you’ll see it over and over. After a while the words will sink in.

Come Fly with Me: Flight Travel Etiquette

Traveling by plane is meant to be a convenient way of getting around, but for many the experience is a huge ordeal. Flight delays, grumpy passengers, overworked staff, long lines, that suitcase that’s one pound over the baggage allowance…talk about a headache! By following these flight rules of etiquette, however, we can all reduce our stress and make our journey a more enjoyable one for all involved.

-Plan, plan, plan. Much of the stress associated with travelling by plane has to do with last-minute snafus—you wake up late, get stuck in traffic on the way to the airport, don’t know your gate, etc. To avoid this, it is vital to be prepared. Have all of your travel documents organized and put in a place where they are within easy reach and won’t be forgotten. Book a shuttle service to take you to the airport well in advance of your boarding time so you don’t have to worry about parking. Set a backup alarm to ensure that you wake up on time; if you are not an early-riser you may want to avoid booking early flights in the future. Input your frequent flier numbers and seat preferences into online booking systems so you don’t have to worry about it the day of. Some online booking agents, like Orbitz, can also send you text alerts to keep you abreast of flight delays. Determine your terminal before you go—your driver will appreciate it and it will save you from making a lengthy trek across the airport. Make sure your toiletries and any other liquids meet airline regulations and are placed in a Ziploc bag which you can reach easily (I always pack that last). Also, do some research so you know exactly how much luggage you can take, and whether or not there is a charge for baggage. If so, have that money ready. I also like to bring some small bills along should I get assistance from a skycap—you should tip them if they help with your luggage.

-Dress nicely. I’m a sucker for consistency in everything we do, which means dressing tastefully no matter where we are. Instead of throwing on baggy sweats and Ugg boots for your flight, find an outfit that is comfortable yet still classy. It’s a flight—not a slumber party. And who knows? Your polished look could get you bumped up!

-Be efficient. Don’t step into the security line until you have your boarding card and ID in your hand, and your Ziploc bag of liquids ready. As soon as you can grab a container and set your stuff down, try to prep yourself—taking your laptop out of its case, removing belts or earrings, taking off shoes and jackets, etc.—as quickly as possible so that when it’s your turn to walk through the metal detector you are ready to go. Be patient if you are waiting on others, and don’t be huffy with the security guards if the detector goes off or they require an additional scan; this will only make the situation worse. As you pick your belongings out of the end of the line, be conscious and considerate with other passenger property. I’ve seen laptops fall onto the ground because someone was careless and grabbed their carry-on without looking to see what they could be knocking down. I like to wear shoes that are easy to slip on when I fly, but if you have tennis shoes or lace-ups that require more time to put back on, quickly step aside and find an area off to the side so you don’t hold up the line.

-Keep cool. It’s a fact of life—delays happen. The best thing you can do in this situation is to stay calm and not blow up at the staff. It’s not their fault the rain is pouring down. If you talk to staff to inquire about delays, always end the conversation with a pleasant “Thank you for your help.” Yes, delays are a major inconvenience, but with most airports outfitted with wireless Internet and a slew of other attractions, you can now make the most of your waiting time.

-Be considerate. One thing I always notice when I’m waiting for a flight is how hard it is to find a seat! So many people seem to commandeer a section of seats, using them for their carry-ons and shopping bags or just sitting spread-eagle so they can be more comfortable while others have to stand or sit on the floor. Only take one seat in the waiting area! Also, avoid joining the crowd waiting to pounce when their gate is called. We’re all leaving at the same time!

-Be a good passenger. Good passengers smile and say “please” and “thank you” to staff, get seated quickly and don’t spend ages fiddling with their carry-ons, don’t clog up the aisles, listen when flight attendants are making announcements, and pay heed to seatbelt lights and other rules. Don’t spend ages in the bathroom, don’t use electronics when you aren’t supposed to, don’t hog the arm rest or rush to recline your seat (it would be polite to ask the person behind you before you do so), and don’t spend the entire flight yammering at your seatmate if they’ve clearly got work or a good book to tear into. If you don’t want to be chatty on your flight, pull out your book or laptop as soon as you can, but do acknowledge and smile at your seatmate, or even wish them a great trip upon landing. If someone won’t take the hint, smile politely and say, “Oh, well, I should make some headway on this report. I’ve got a meeting as soon as I arrive,” or wait for a break in conversation and excuse yourself to go to the restroom. When you come back say, “If you’ll excuse me I’m going to try to catch up on some sleep before we land” or “Now I’m going to dig into this book—I never get a chance to read these days.”

Avoid messing with the tray table or hitting your feet against the seat in front of you—it’s very annoying! If you are listening to music, keep the volume at a moderate level so that it’s not spilling out of your ears. If you’re travelling with children, keep a close eye on them. And finally, consider giving your flight crew a batch of cookies or other treats—they’ll love you for it!

The Myth of the Rude New Yorker: My Notes from NYC

Hello all! I’ve just returned from a wonderful trip to New York City with my husband and thought I’d share my experiences with you…

 

I’ve been going to NYC at least once a year since I was 12, but every trip is like the first time! As soon as I step into that taxi at LaGuardia Airport, my heart starts skipping. I cannot wait ‘til I see the Manhattan skyline as we ride into the city.

 

One of my quests on this trip was to find all those “rude New Yorkers.” If you recall, my husband and I went to France last year in pursuit of a rude French person—but never found one! Would New Yorkers exceed our expectations too?

 

You bet. We were treated like royalty from the time we arrived in Manhattan. 

 

NEW YORK CONFIDENTIAL

 

Two of New York’s best-kept secrets:

 

1) If you are a power bargain shopper as I am, make sure you go to Century 21—wow! It’s a huge store, full of great prices, great clothes, and great bargains…you can find designer items at 50% off or more. 

 

2) Most visitors know they can get Broadway show tickets discounted by up to 50% off by visiting the TKTS discount ticket booth at Times Square. But did you know there is another TKTS at South Street Seaport? And unlike the TKTS booth at Times Square, you can buy tickets for the next day. While you’re there, take a stroll through South Street Seaport. You’ll find great stores, restaurants, events, and more.

 

WHAT ARE NEW YORKERS WEARING?

           

Most women wore jeans tucked into boots: short boots, knee-high boots, lace-up boots…you name it. Others wore tights with long tops and boots.

 

For a city that “only wears black” I saw lots and lots of red jackets.

 

Also, everyone was wearing a scarf, often loosely around their neck and other times just to keep warm. I felt like I was back in Europe!

 

THE EXCITEMENT OF THE CITY

 

As I get older, I appreciate the everyday life of New Yorkers more and more. While visiting the MOMA, I found a window overlooking 51^st Street and stood there watching New Yorkers go by. New York is a great walking city. Nothing stops New Yorkers; it was raining buckets but they were still out there with their umbrellas. When is the last time you saw an Atlantan not only walk, but walk in the rain?

 

While my husband was at the Kandinsky Gallery of the Guggenheim, I discovered a small café on the 3^rd floor. I ordered a macchiato and stood at the window overlooking Central Park. New Yorkers were jogging, walking, and pushing baby carriages, and I felt like I was in one of the hundreds of movies that have been filmed in NYC. WOW! To live here!

 

MY TRIP TO SOHO

 

By the third day, we still had not found a rude New Yorker, so we went to SoHo. That’s the day we found a cab driver who was joking and laughing with us. So much for rude cab drivers…

 

One of my favorite stores in SoHo is the DKNY store, which is where I discovered the Cozy. I bought one in red and have worn it several different ways. 

 

We then discovered an Ugg store. Yes, there’s a whole store and they carry much more than fur-lined boots! My husband bought a great pair of sandals and I found a great hat and a handbag. Did you know you can find sheepskin in most of their women’s sandals for extra comfort? Some have sheepskin on the inside of the heel and thong sandals have sheepskin around the toe area—so comfy!

 

We also walked in front of an eyeglass store called Ilori. We were looking in the window when a John Legend look-alike motioned us to come in. We had fun trying on all sorts of eyeglasses and finally broke down and bought a pair each. Farah Burns, the stylist who helped us, went out of her way to show us different styles (another “rude person”). After paying for the glasses, she asked us to come to the lower level with her and we found a beautiful lounge, leather sofas, two glasses of champagne, and French chocolates waiting for us. At first, I was a little leery wondering what was going on. Well, it was customer service at its best! No, we did not spend thousands of dollars for this—just got the two pairs of sunglasses! I told Farah I felt like a princess and she told me I was. Frankly, she was the princess. Here’s her photo.

 

Later, we laughed when we found out that Ilori is owned by Lenscrafters—who knew they had a luxurious side?

 

So did I find a rude New Yorker? Nope, not one…but I sure had a lot of fun looking for one!