Cell Phone Smarts

Here’s a story that should make you think twice the next time you reach for your cell phone on a crowded train or in a waiting room.

 

According to AbovetheLaw.com, a law firm partner was on a train en route to New York when he whipped out his Bluetooth headset. He proceeded to discuss private corporate matters—specifically, the decision to lay off 15-20 workers at Pillsbury Winthrop, citing the names of the employees getting the chop—over the phone, for all of his fellow passengers to hear. As it turns out, a law student overheard the loud conversation, and reported it to Above the Law, which tracked down the caller’s name and firm. Long story short: Pillsbury now has egg on its face for its inappropriate handling of private matters.

 

This is just another instance of people’s lack of common courtesy and professionalism when it comes to cell phone use. Not only is your conversation disturbing the people around you, but you could be inadvertently sharing information you don’t want made public. Cell phones are designed to make our lives easier, yes, but they need to be used with care. Do so by adhering to these rules of etiquette:

 

1)     Heed the Signs. Many buildings (such as doctor’s offices, movie theaters, etc.) are now posting notices asking visitors to turn off their cell phones. Please play by the rules. And never, ever answer your cell phone during a movie—you’ll be begging for trouble! The same goes for churches—who wants to be the person in the front pew with the jazzy ring tone going off?

2)     The Waiting Game. How many times have you been stuck in a long line at the post office or bank while the person at the counter tries to juggle a phone conversation and their business at the same time? It’s aggravating not only for the people who are waiting behind you, but also the service rep trying to assist you. Nobody wants to talk to a person with a phone glued to their ear, so stop wasting their time. Let the call go to voice mail until you have completed your transaction; if the call is important and absolutely can’t wait, kindly step to the side and let the person behind you take your place.

3)     Keep It Down. When conducting a conversation on your cell phone, keep the volume low. People who use Bluetooth headsets especially seem to have trouble gauging how loud they are speaking. There’s no need to shout!

4)     Change Your Tone. It’s one thing for your phone to go off in the middle of an important meeting. But can you imagine how humiliating and unprofessional it would be if your ring tone was a cheesy pop song? Always, always, always put your phone on silent or at the very least vibrate (in your pocket or handbag, not on the table where it can be seen) when sitting down for a business meeting.

5)     Don’t Pick Up. Likewise, answering your phone during dinner is seen as bad form. Turn the phone to silent, and let calls go to voice mail. If you feel the call might be vital (for instance, it’s from the babysitter watching your children), excuse yourself and take the call outside or in an area of the restaurant where you will not disturb other diners.

6)     Bathroom Breaks. I can never understand why people feel the need to carry on a phone conversation while in a bathroom! It’s just plain unhygienic and disturbing, not only to the person you are speaking with, but to the other people in the bathroom who can hear you. Take care of business, then make your call.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior at Work

If you find yourself with some time to kill—not on company time, mind you—direct your web browser to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com. This clever site chronicles everything from faux-sweet letters from put-out co-workers to scathing letters left behind by an angry roommate. Anyone who has lived with others or worked in an office can relate. Many of the missives are unsurprisingly work-related, whether it’s an anonymous complaint about a co-worker coughing too loudly, or the endless bathroom rules that we all see posted up in the office restroom.

 

The site makes for a good laugh, but there’s an etiquette lesson here too. In the majority of the cases, the person who writes the letter almost always comes off poorly—they’re seen as petty and, well, passive-aggressive. Why else would the note recipient send in the note for the entire world to mock it? The note-writer may have had a legitimate complaint, but hiding behind a note isn’t the best way to handle the situation.

 

If you have an issue with a co-worker—say, someone has been stealing your lunch from the fridge, or their loud personal conversations are disturbing your work—first take a moment to determine whether or not the issue is really something getting worked up about. Wait a day, or talk it over with a friend to see their reaction. You may realize that you’re just having a bad day. But if the issue still lingers, confront the person directly—not through a note which can be reinterpreted a million ways, but by pulling them aside and politely addressing the situation. There’s no need to attack or accuse, but do be firm. A simple, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m working on something that calls for a lot of focus. Do you mind keeping it down? I would really appreciate it!” If the issue persists, you may consider going to the HR department.   

 

Most of us have been in offices where “helpful” notices are posted everywhere you turn. “Refill the Coffee.” “Your Mother Doesn’t Work Here.” “Do Not Adjust the Thermostat.” “Please Do Not Spray Perfume in the Bathroom as People Are Allergic.” It’s too much! After a while, these signs seem to be shouting at your workers, who are adults, not children who need to be constantly reminded how to act in a place where they spend most of their week. Keep the signs to a minimum, or lump them together in the employee handbook. If people stop following the rules, you can then address the problems in a general company meeting or email.

Valentine’s Day Etiquette

Happy Early Valentine’s Day!

 

Some of you adore this celebration of all things love. Some of you may hate it. Either way, the following tips will help you get through the holiday with grace and good manners.

 

1. Keep the PDA to a minimum. It’s great that you’re so head over heels in love, but do you think that your server or fellow diners need to see you pawing at each other? No! Hand-holding or a discreet peck is fine; anything else is inappropriate in public.

 

 

2. Don’t turn your desk into a Hallmark store. I never fail to see heart balloons, gigantic floral displays, cookie bouquets, and red teddy bears at the bank or doctor’s office on Valentine’s Day. It’s understandable to want to show off your presents, but it doesn’t send off the professional executive image you crave. Instead of over-the-top displays, limit yourself to a simple floral arrangement, and stash the cards and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate in a desk drawer until it’s time to head home. You may also consider sharing your sweets with the office—but do so by leaving it in the kitchen with a note that says “Enjoy!”; going desk-to-desk can make you seem like you’re a little desperate to rub your love token in other people’s faces.

 

 

3. Keep the kitsch at bay. Heart-shaped buttons and head-to-toe pink and red will not get you taken seriously. Dress for work as you normally would, with perhaps a subtle and tasteful heart-shaped cufflink or charm necklace. A soft pink button-down or red blouse is also acceptable, provided it’s not too costumey.

 

 

4. Share the love. The days of handing out homemade Valentines to everyone in your class are long over, but if you want to mark the occasion, do so in a way that makes everyone feel included. A cookie tray or baked good for the office is a nice gesture. I also know of a small office where the company ordered flowers for every female in the office, which was a big hit. Do not, however, hand out cards or personal gifts.

 

 

5. Be considerate. Just as there are those who cherish Valentine’s Day, there are also many people who can’t wait for the love-fest to be over. If you have a date with a special someone, that’s great. But it’s rude to brag about your fancy candlelit dinner at the best restaurant in town to your co-worker who has just been dumped or your freshly divorced boss. You don’t know what people’s love situations may be, so stay tactful and wait for others to ask you about your plans. Or, simply ask co-workers if they have anything exciting planned for the weekend, rather than pointedly asking about Valentine’s Day.

Dining to Impress: Proper Etiquette for Interview Meals

Have you ever dined with someone who talked with their mouth full of food? Or watched on as your companion sloppily played with their food, making a mess of both the table and themselves? It’s uncomfortable and unappealing, right?

 

Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression, yet it seems to have fallen by the wayside in this era of fast food and more casual dining standards. But don’t let your own table behavior fall by the wayside, as proper social and dining etiquette is a talent that can positively affect your future and your reputation. 

 

Here’s why: More and more employers interview candidates over lunch or dinner. One of the reasons for this is so that an employer can evaluate the candidates’ social skills first-hand and see if they can handle themselves gracefully under pressure. In other words, good manners may give you the edge over another candidate.

 

Do you feel comfortable with the way you eat? Do you eat American or Continental style? Which is your bread dish?  How do you pass food to your dinner mates? How about salt and pepper? Did you know that the salt and the pepper shakers are married?  When someone asks you to pass the salt, make sure you pass both the salt and the pepper. 

 

Have you ever had a server take your plate away before you are finished? It’s probably because you have not mastered the silent service code! Your fork and knife will let your server know whether you are done with your meal or not. How? When you are finished, place your fork and knife at the “four o’clock” position to indicate that the server may take the plate away.

 

What should you do if you drop your napkin on the floor? Kick it under the table and politely ask the server for another one.

 

Peggy’s Top Five Tips for Must-Impress Dining – perfect for interviews, dates and all-around important meals.

 

·        When you have a table full of utensils, always start at the outside and work your way in. The salad fork is on the far left, the entrée fork will be next to it.  Your dessert spoon and fork are above your plate.

 

·        Don’t order messy food. Stay away from food with sauces, big sandwiches, and finger foods (like ribs). If you must order a burger or sandwich, have it cut in half so it is more manageable.

 

·        Remember the acronym “BMW.” Your bread dish is always on your left, your meal is in the middle, and your water glass is on the right. This will avoid the embarrassment of taking someone else’s bread!

 

·        If you need to leave the table, put your napkin on the seat or the arm of your chair.

 

·        If you order soup, spoon it away from you.  

 

Once you feel comfortable with the way you eat, you’ll have one less thing to worry about and can let your professionalism shine! Happy interviewing!