Taylor Swift’s Etiquette Faux Pas

I’m often weighing in on the importance of RSVPing promptly, and it appears that celebrities and “Hollywood royalty” aren’t entirely clued in to this etiquette practice.

Turns out singer Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend Conor Kennedy—yes, those Kennedys—ruffled some feathers when they showed up unexpectedly at the wedding of Conor’s cousin. Apparently Conor only notified his cousin that he would be showing up an hour before the ceremony started. The bride’s mother has publicly stated that she had to twice ask the party-crashing couple to leave, because she was afraid Swift would take all the attention away from her daughter. The young couple eventually left, but the etiquette faux pas has since been made public.

I think it’s tacky for the bride’s mother to have informed the media about what is a family matter, but nonetheless Taylor and Conor should have known better. This wasn’t a family barbeque or a house party where unexpected drop-ins are par for the course; this was a no-doubts extravagant affair that would have required guests to RSVP well in advance. Their sudden presence was inconvenient and no doubt put a lot of stress on the hosts.

Hopefully these two will learn from their mistakes; after all, they’re still quite young. But let this be a lesson—always RSVP in a timely manner!

Visit with us on or follow us on

Why Yelling at Work is Pointless

Do you have a tendency to raise your voice or yell at work when something goes wrong? According to several studies, you’re really not helping matters. I just came across this fascinating article in the Wall Street Journal which explains why yelling is an ineffective tool, with research showing that it can impair employees’ ability to remember things and follow instructions. Admit it—it’s pretty hard to concentrate when your boss is screaming at you.

Interestingly, sending an angry email or silently fuming at a co-worker is also unproductive. The article mentions an instance in which an editor fired off an email berating a writer for not doing their job, only to find herself in the hot seat when the writer called to complain to the higher-ups; apparently they did not appreciate having forceful complaints in writing.  

So what’s the best way to resolve workplace conflicts while bringing civility back to the workplace? Experts suggest calmly verbalizing your complaint in short sentences that begin with “I.” Say, “I understand where you were coming from, but I don’t agree that the situation was handled properly.”

You should also wait 24 hours before responding, which will likely remove some of the sting. The article also suggests using a soft voice when raising a complaint, as it tends to encourage the other person to lower their volume. Instead of focusing on issuing blame, suggest solutions or ways mistakes can be avoided in the future.

And if you are the person being yelled at, try not to react. It will throw the screamer off guard and hopefully force them to retreat. Issue a calm response and don’t rise to the bait. The office is no place for screaming matches.  

Visit with us on or follow us on

Don’t Double-Book Yourself

Several months ago a prospective client contacted me to set up an initial consultation. We agreed to meet over coffee in a nearby café. But when I showed up at the appointed time, I discovered that she had brought a couple of girlfriends along. She explained that she had double-booked herself and wondered if I’d mind if her friends joined us. If her friends were interested in the services my company offers, I wouldn’t have minded, but it was clearly a social visit and the three of them kept chatting about their personal lives. I felt like I was in the way and frankly, it was disappointing that she hadn’t prioritized our meeting, or called to reschedule our plans once she realized she had other plans. Needless to say, we didn’t end up working together.

I know a few people who are guilty of constantly making lots of plans without bothering to check their schedule. They say “yes” to everything, but then wind up disappointing others because they inevitably have to cancel at the last minute, or try to merge their plans somehow. It shows a lack of consideration—people’s time is valuable, and it’s hurtful and annoying when someone you’ve made plans with completely forgets about them or tries to cram you into their other engagements.

Next time you commit to something, check your calendar to make sure there’s no conflict. Input the date into your planner or iPhone and don’t be quick to squeeze in other appointments. Nobody likes a flake!

Visit with us on or follow us on

Michael Phelps’ Great Olympics Sportsmanship

Have you been watching the Olympics coverage? I have to say, I’ve been glued to my TV screen. It’s so inspiring to see these talented athletes accomplish these super-human feats, especially after years of training, sacrifices, and absolute discipline. I love that passion! And for me, the Olympics are also a chance to see good sportsmanship in action.

Take Michael Phelps for instance. He’s now the most decorated Olympian in history, and he really proved himself in his final Games appearance. But what really impressed me was his reaction to coming second in the 200-meter butterfly. The gold medalist, South Africa’s Chad Le Clos, was visibly emotional and nervous after just narrowly beating his hero Phelps. It must have been a disappointing loss for Phelps—winning would have made him the first male swimmer to win an Olympic swimming event three times in a row—but he was completely gracious, embracing his rival, posing for photos, and kindly steering him towards the media outlets for the post-match interviews. Phelps even later took to Twitter to praise Le Clos for his “amazing swim.” What a nice example of sportsmanship!

Visit with us on or follow us on