Why It’s Impolite to Ask About Starting a Family

When a couple gets married, one of the first things they’re asked is when they’re going to have children. But according to several newlyweds of my acquaintance, asking about children is a major faux pas.

Why? For one, the couple just got married. They want to enjoy the moment, not feel pressured to procreate. If and when they decide to start a family, that is their personal business and it is up to them to share their plans.

And it’s not just newlyweds who resent prying questions about children. A friend of mine mentioned friends of theirs who have been married for several years. The couple are childless but just bought a large house, prompting one acquaintance to ask if they were planning to fill it up with children. I’m sure the person meant well, but in truth the couple had been trying to conceive for some time, to no avail. It is a sensitive issue for them, so they told the acquaintance that whether or not they had children one day was their personal business. I’m sure that person won’t be so nosy in the future!

You wouldn’t want someone prying into your personal life, so respect the privacy of others by resisting the urge to ask invasive questions. If they want to share, they will.

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ATM Etiquette

The other day I stopped an ATM to withdraw some cash. I wasn’t in a huge rush, but found my patience soon tested by the couple ahead of me in line. They appeared to be tourists from Germany, and must have had seven cards on them. The woman swiped each card, withdrew cash, and handed it to the man. Then she would insert the next card, and repeat the whole process.

As a result, I must have been in line for close to 10 minutes. The man behind me grumbled and I noticed several rolled eyes. I was able to keep my cool but was disappointed to see that the couple never offered an apology or so much as a conciliatory smile. I’m not sure why they needed so much money from all of those cards, but they must have realized that they were holding up the line. In the past I’ve stopped at an ATM and had to do multiple transactions, but have always offered to let the person behind me go ahead, or at least apologized for the extra delay. It would have been nice if the couple had doen the same.

If you are holding up a line (whether it’s at the ATM or the grocery store), appearing apologetic can help defuse the situation and shows the people behind you that you respect their time and feel remorse for wasting it. A little civility goes a long way!

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Practicing Good Hotel Etiquette

Do you travel a lot for business or pleasure? A lot of people seem to leave their manners at home when they go away, which is why I decided to share some essential hotel etiquette guidelines. Be a good guest!

Keep the noise down. Be considerate of your neighbors by keeping the TV volume low and not raising your voice in your room or in the hallway. Don’t slam your door, either—it could easily wake someone up.

Leave a tip for housekeeping. I always try to leave a few dollars behind for the housekeeping crew that has kept my room nice and tidy over my stay. They’ve earned it!

Reduce your energy usage. Just because you aren’t paying the energy bills doesn’t mean you should leave the room with the air conditioner blasting or the lights left on. Do a quick check before you head out to make sure everything is turned off.

Don’t leave a room service mess. I hate seeing unsightly trays of picked-over food sitting for hours outside a hotel room. I’ve also seen people leave out empty pizza boxes, and some even leave their tray in front of another guest’s room. It’s unsanitary and inconsiderate to others. Instead, once you’ve finished your meal, try placing a call down to room service or housekeeping to politely notify them that your tray is ready for removal, so it gets taken care of right away.

Report problems that could affect others. An acquaintance of mine recently stayed in a major hotel chain and woke up with several bug bites. She suspected bed bugs, and wanted to report it to the front desk to prevent an outbreak, but her husband told her she was probably overreacting. They left without saying anything. Later her husband noticed that he too had bug bites, and they’ve since confirmed it was due to bed bugs. If she had reported the issue right away, she could have prevented future guests from being exposed … and possibly gotten some sort of compensation from the hotel.

Don’t steal. A hotel toiletries are fair game, but leave those plush bathrobes and blankets where they belong.

 

A Tale of Two Doctors

A friend of mine has been battling an illness and as such has had to make several trips to the doctor. When she first went ill, she had her husband take her to a walk-in clinic because she didn’t want to wait to make an appointment. Immediately she noticed that the doctor’s manner was very brusque. Because my friend was feeling out of sorts, her husband tried to help answer some of the doctor’s questions. The doctor turned to him and coldly said, “Who are you? Why don’t you let her answer the questions?” It got worse from there, with the doctor shrugging off every symptom and offering no real treatment option. When my friend asked how long it would take for her to recover, he shrugged and said she would just have to wait and see. At this point my friend got upset and started to tear up. She said the doctor just looked her up and down and said, “Why are you crying?”

Luckily she was finally able to get an appointment somewhere else, though she didn’t know what to expect as it was her first time visiting this particular doctor. The new doctor couldn’t have been more different. She was warm, asked thoughtful questions, and recognized that my friend was really in dire straits. She also ordered a rush prescription and created a treatment plan that made my friend finally feel like she was being heard.

At the end of the day, we’re oftentimes willing to put up with a lot of attitude if it means finding a cure or feeling better (anyone seen “House”?). Still, my friend’s experience shows how a good bedside manner and pleasant customer service can make the ordeal of an illness much less upsetting. She was in a vulnerable state and felt that the doctor who was rude and unwilling to offer any sort of diagnosis gave her anxiety and a sense of hopelessness. With the second doctor, she felt that she was being listened to and that she would ultimately feel better.

Do you make your customers feel like they are important? Do your customer service skills feel supportive, or that this person is just a nuisance? What can you do better?

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A Lesson in Poor Customer Service

Looks like one Down Under boutique could use some serious etiquette pointers. Last week I read about Gasp, an Australian clothing shop which is making international headlines because of its appalling customer service—which they seem to be proud of!

It all started when a customer wrote the store to complain that she and her friends had been confronted by an overly pushy salesperson, who later made a derogative comment about her weight. The woman had worked in retail for many years and felt it important to share her bad experience with the store’s management team. Surely she did not expect the response she got.

Rather than apologize for the salesperson’s behavior, the area manager defended him and called him a “superstar.” The manager then went on to tell the woman that she and her friends “were a joke the minute you walked in.” He explained that the boutique caters to a more fashion-forward, envelope-pushing crowd, and that it was important to weed out those who didn’t appreciate the value of their unconventional designs.

The entire exchange has since made the Internet rounds, and the manager has since claimed that the hoopla over his snotty response has been great for business. I doubt that. I have no plans to visit Australia, but I would never support a business that takes such an insulting and negative attitude towards its customers. I wonder how long it will be before that manager finds himself without a job.

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