The Tiger Woods Scandal & Personal Branding

Wow—has Tiger Woods messed up or what? And it’s not just his family who is suffering from his alleged infidelities; the golfer’s career and branded image have also taken a major hit.

Prior to this scandal, Woods had an image as an All-American, clean-cut family man that helped him rack up one endorsement after another. In fact, when I do my Personal Branding seminars, I always cite Woods as the epitome the perfect corporate brand. Now, I’ll have to find someone else!

Post-scandal, advertisers like Accenture are rushing to distance themselves from the athlete and his tarnished reputation. The public no longer has trust in him, which means he no longer has value for his sponsors. Whether or not Woods will recover remains to be seen, but he’s undoubtedly got to do some major damage control.

This is just a dramatic example of how what we do outside of the office (or, in this case, the golf course) can have a big impact on our “brands.” Your message should always be consistent, so you should always be wary of engaging in anything that deviates from the professional image you’ve worked hard to cultivate. In this case, Woods’ behavior was not consistent with his image, and in turn keeping him on as a spokesperson would not have been consistent with the image his sponsors want to project.

Now…any suggestions as to who the new “perfect” brand will be?

A Goof-Proof Holiday

Do you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa…or nothing at all? Whatever your beliefs, it is important to have respect for those who may feel differently. Respecting others does not take away from your own celebration; rather, I think it’s a way of supporting the spirit of goodwill that this time of year is known for.

Like most business people, you will probably be sending holiday cards to clients. However, I recommend a non-religious card that says “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” rather than a religious-themed card or specific Christmas or Hanukkah card. For example, a client may be Jewish and could feel slighted or made uncomfortable by a card aimed at Christians. You don’t have to single that person out or go out of your way to buy them a Hanukkah card—just play it safe with a card that will be appropriate for everyone.

And if you receive a religious card that doesn’t apply to your beliefs, try not to take offense. The sender probably meant no ill will. If it really bothers you, don’t hang it up—or you can send a New Year’s card in return that says “Thank you for your thoughtful card. While I do not celebrate Christmas, I appreciate the kind sentiments and hope your family has a wonderful holiday.”

I have heard of religious groups boycotting Gap this year because they feel that the retailer’s holiday ads take a blasé view of the religious aspect of Christmas, and I have met people who see exchanging the word “holiday” for “Christmas” as an overly politically correct move. But I think that showing sensitivity and consideration this time of year is just a way to be accepting and avoid offending others.

We all have special reasons to celebrate this season. Let’s focus on uniting over that!

Holiday Shopping Etiquette

I love shopping, but the manic post-Thanksgiving crush at the mall can make anyone’s head spin. In their pursuit of rock-bottom savings, frenzied shoppers have been known to get agitated and stressed out, which can trigger rude behavior towards each other and sales staff. And when that happens, it’s very easy to lose sight of the true meaning of the holidays.  

If you’re prone to stressing out over petty things when doing your holiday shopping, refer to this etiquette guide to help you keep your calm. After all, life is too short to fight over shopping carts!

Shop during off-peak times if possible. Hitting the mall on a Saturday afternoon is the shopping equivalent of getting stuck in rush-hour traffic. Instead, do yourself a favor and try to hit the shops during the week, preferably during the day if your schedule allows it. There will be fewer crowds, shorter lines, and more parking spaces—a win-win!

Exercise good parking etiquette. This is one of those times when it’s nice to pay a few extra dollars and go with valet. If that’s not in your budget, you can ask someone for a ride or car-pool with a friend. If you do have to drive and park on your own, pay attention, don’t chat on your cell phone while a row of cars honks from behind you, and be sure that your car stays well within the borders of the parking space so that cars can easily park next to you. Avoid dawdling at your car or running back to your vehicle unless you plan to exit, and when you are ready to leave do so quickly and efficiently. There’s nothing worse than waiting for a car to pull out of a parking space while the people inside sit inside and chatter. And if you’re the one waiting for a space, be patient, and don’t honk or steal spaces that other cars have been waiting for. Also, make sure that you are always driving down the right side of a one-way row, look out for pedestrians, and put your cart away in the proper space so that it doesn’t block a parking space or roll away.

Be polite to other shoppers and sales staff. Getting snippy will not win you any fans, especially if you’re relying on a shop assistant to track down the last Transformers action figure that your son just has to have. A little kindness goes a long way.

Be ready to pay. Don’t wait until the cashier rings up all of your items to pull your wallet out, especially if there’s a long line of people behind you. Have your credit card or cash ready so you can get in and out. And while being kind is a bonus, now is not the time to start chatting to the sales clerk about the weather. Thank them and let them move on to the next customer.

Find a babysitter. If your kids are a bit on the rowdy side, leaving them with a babysitter while you shop while help things run much more smoothly. Just think—no tantrums, no sticky hands on the display cases, and no fear of losing them in the crowds. If money’s tight, arrange a deal with a parent pal so that you return the favor when she needs to hit the mall.

Do your research. If you’re on the hunt for something specific, you can save yourself a lot of time by verifying ahead of time—either by going online or calling the store—that the item is indeed available.

Thanksgiving Etiquette: Nosy Relatives

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! In honor of this week’s holiday I’m offering up one last post devoted to dealing with relatives who really know how to push your buttons. We’ve already discussed overly talkative people and guests who don’t mind their own children. Now, it’s time to address those nosy family members and friends who can’t seem to mind their own business!

You know what I’m talking about. The person who always grills you about your love life, or wants to know how much you make, or seems to be digging for information so they can one-up you? It’s natural to be open with people you’re close to, but some people just don’t recognize the boundaries that social etiquette demands and keep prying and prying for juicy details.

Of course, if you’re uncomfortable sharing the most intimate details of your life (and who can blame you?), you can sidestep their questions without having to resort to a tense – and offensive – line like, “It’s none of your business” or “Please mind your own business.”

One way to do this is to try a joke. For instance, if Uncle Al is asking what your salary is, just say, “That’s between me and my accountant.” Or if Aunt Gladys wants to know why you’re still single, or why your other half is spending the holiday with his or her family, answer with a short, upbeat reply (like, “Oh, I’m too busy having fun to settle down” or “When I find a gal like you, I’ll stop looking”) and then turn the tables and ask her about her life. She’ll either get distracted and start chatting about herself, or realize that personal questions are intrusive.

You don’t have to be evasive or overly secretive. If you’re acting strangely, others will naturally sense that something is up and probably feel more determined to get to the bottom of it. Just have a boilerplate answer for what’s going on in your life, so that you’re being personable without revealing more than you like. For some of us, there is an area of our lives that may be a sore point. Maybe it’s a recent breakup or the fact that work isn’t going well or that you’ve been laid off.  Don’t be rude to people, but if you feel like they won’t drop the subject, take a deep breath and say, “Sorry, do you mind if we talk about something else? It’s hard for me to talk about it.” Or you can say, “It’s Thanksgiving—I’m trying to focus on the positive things that I’m thankful for. Now, can I refill your coffee?”

I feel like that with social media technology like Facebook and Twitter, our world is obsessed with oversharing, but that doesn’t mean you have to! Also, if you are sitting with people who start gossiping about other guests, do your best to change the subject to something more positive. You don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior.

And with that, I wish you all a fabulous holiday!

 

Thanksgiving Etiquette: When Parents Don’t Watch Their Kids

Can you believe Thanksgiving is just next week? We’ve got a lot of etiquette ground to cover before then so you can handle any tense family situations with grace. Last week I spoke about people who talk your ears off. Now, I’d like to address that other dreaded Thanksgiving guest: the one who doesn’t watch their kids (especially when they’re destroying your good china and torturing the family pet).

Now, if you consider yourself a bit of a control freak or don’t mesh well with children—not everyone does—you may want to leave the holiday hosting duties to someone else. Unlike say, a formal wedding or dinner party, you can’t ask your loved ones to leave their kiddos with a babysitter for Thanksgiving. This holiday is all about family time, and if you can’t handle having toddlers underfoot or don’t consider your home to be remotely kid-friendly, you might be better off visiting someone else’s home as a guest with the freedom to leave when you please.

Of course, even those of us who adore children can have our patience tried when a guest pays no mind to what their child is doing. In many families it is common to have a kids table so that the grown-ups can eat in peace, but sometimes separating the children and leaving them without close adult supervision—particularly if they are young or known to be trouble-makers—can cause a little bit of mayhem.

One way to avoid this is to seat everyone together, placing children next to their parents, who can cut up bits of turkey and stop food fights when needed. Another option is to stick with the kids table, but appoint a teenage babysitter (preferably an older cousin that you trust and can bribe with an iPod gift certificate or something similar) to act as hall monitor. Or, you can serve the meal buffet-style, allowing parents with children to eat first so they aren’t distracted.

You may also want to consider serving dinner at a time that is amenable to the children’s nap times. Most kids have a nap after lunch, so by serving at noon instead of 2pm or 3pm you can limit the risk of cranky kiddos while ensuring (hopefully) that they’re zonked out for part of the afternoon.

I recommend letting the kids play out in the backyard—provided it is fenced-in and there is at least one responsible supervisor—or creating an indoor play area that has been cleared of fragile valuables. Preferably, this area should be visible from where the adults are congregating. Now, if you don’t have a babysitter that you can rely on to keep a close eye on the kids, you might want to consider springing for a baby monitor or creating a schedule in which the adults take turns checking in on the children.

That said, some kids are prone to trouble-making, whether it’s fighting, crying incessantly or destroying everything in their path. If you notice this behavior coming from a child who is not your own, immediately alert their parent with a call to action, saying, “Hey, can you give me a hand? Jordan keeps pulling Missy’s hair.” If the parent knows what he/she is doing, he or she will step in and take care of the situation. In an ideal situation they will handle the disciplining, because if you are forced to do it they may take offense. It is okay to tell the child to stop what they’re doing, but you have to do it politely and in a non-threatening way. The last thing you need is for the little guy to burst into tears over what “mean old Aunt Jenny” said, which will make you the bad guy.

If say, the parent blows off the bad behavior and it continues, pull the offending child aside and bring him or her over to the parent. Say something like, “Jordan was getting rough with the other kids/painting on the wall/throwing toys and I thought it best to separate him for a little while to give him a chance to cool off. He’s all yours.” This way it’s clear that you are expecting some action from them, but you’ve done it in a way to minimize hurt feelings.

Worst case scenario, they let the kid off with a “boys will be boys” shrug or laugh off the bad behavior. If this happens, and you are convinced that the kid is really out of line, sidestep a dramatic confrontation by suggesting that the parent take the kids to the park or play a game with them. In other words, you are handing off babysitting duty so they can see how well their offspring is acting. Say something like, “Hey, why don’t I finish the dishes for you so you can take the kids outside. I could use a break from babysitting duty and the children are very restless.”

Whatever happens, don’t get angry—it will only escalate the situation. Just be thankful that the problem child will soon be out of your hair!

Thanksgiving Survival: How to Deal with Long-Winded Talkers

With Thanksgiving just a few weeks away, now seems like an excellent time to brush up on our etiquette. As much as we love our families, everyone has one or two difficult relatives that can make the holidays a stressful time, but a little etiquette refresher will help you keep your cool as you diffuse what could turn into a dramatic situation.

Take the person who just can’t stop talking. Maybe it’s an older relative who doesn’t realize you’ve all heard his or her stories 300 times, or maybe it’s just a Chatty Cathy who manages to steer every topic of conversation into a monologue about her “fascinating” life. Yes, talking non-stop and interrupting others is bad etiquette on their part, but since they probably don’t realize that they’re talking everyone’s ears off it’s up to you to exercise a little control over the situation—otherwise you’ll go insane!

If someone starts telling a story that you and everyone at the table has heard so many times you can repeat it word for word—and it’s not a cherished anecdote that you’d like to hear again—nod politely and say, “Oh yes, I think I remember you telling us about this” or something to that effect. Acknowledge it in a way that makes the teller think that the story was a memorable or interesting one (you can smile or chuckle), but make it clear that you don’t need to hear the story again.

You can also stop someone blathering on and on by redirecting the conversation over to someone else. You don’t have to interrupt—which is rude—but you can wait for a small pause as your opportunity to interject. For instance, if Aunt Sheila is talking incessantly about the cats that belong to her friend’s cousin’s daughter (none of whom you know), wait for a pause and then say, “Oh, that reminds me—Cousin Jeff, your family has a new pet, don’t you?” Jeff can then respond and other people will have a chance to join in the conversation.

If all else fails, you can always use food, drinks or a Thanksgiving activity as a segue. If someone is going on and on and you can tell everyone else has had it, interject by asking the table if they’d like coffee or tea, or suggest that everyone move into the living room to watch the big game. If you have a child, ask the talker if they mind keeping an eye on the kid while you do dishes or check on the turkey; this will keep them occupied and not so chatty!

Most importantly, don’t shush or snap at the big talker. Yes, their behavior is annoying, but you don’t want to aggravate the situation by telling them to shut up or rudely cutting them off—trust me, you’ll regret it.

Voice Mail Violations

Last week I was talking to a friend who had a terrible experience with a company that counted her as a client. When she called her contact there, she was told that the woman was unavailable, and was directed to her voice mail. The outgoing message said that the woman would be in a meeting until 10am, so my friend left a message. When she had not gotten a response by the late afternoon, she sent a follow-up email. Still, nothing.

The following Monday, my friend tried calling again, only to get the same message on the woman’s voice mail. She left yet another voice mail and sent another email as the issue was urgent. Desperate to get assistance before the end of the day, she called the company again before 5pm and was told by the receptionist to leave a message—again! My friend explained that she had, and was told—wait for it—that the woman in question had been out sick since the middle of the previous week.

How frustrating! This just illustrates how a lack of communication and good business sense can tarnish your image and even cause you to lose clients. The woman should have updated her voice mail and email auto responder to reflect that she was out while providing an alternate contact for pressing matters, and the receptionist should have informed my friend and other clients earlier that the woman was out, and offered to direct her to someone who could help in the interim. As it was, my friend came out of the exchange feeling ignored and like she had gotten the run-around.

If your voice mail message says that you are out until, say, 10am, people will expect you to get back to them right after 10. If you go on vacation and change your email to send an auto-responder alerting people that you will be out until the 9^th, one of the first things you should do when you get back is turn off the auto-responder. Otherwise people will be confused and unsure if they’re going to hear from you. And if you are out sick or in meetings all day, update your status to reflect that, but provide information for a secondary contact for urgent issues.

Don’t Let Halloween Haunt Your Office

As we all know, Halloween arrives this weekend. Now, I love a good holiday as much as the next person, but I have to draw the line at dressing up in costume at the office. A trend I’ve noticed with increasing regularity over the years is for offices to completely lose themselves in the holidays. Halloween banners are hung up everywhere, bowls of candy corn surface on everyone’s desks, and employees trade in their professional suits and pencil skirts for silly costumes.

I for one think it’s ridiculous. It’s hard enough to get people to dress appropriately on regular days—why make it worse? Who wants to do business with an attorney dressed as a witch or a banker wearing furry bunny slippers? Frankly, as a customer I’d be turned off by the lack of professionalism. I give my business to people who exude respect, intelligence, strength and responsibility, not the person with the most creative costume or the guy who just wants to let loose.

Costumes are completely fine in a party environment, but just don’t belong in the workplace. Take a look around at most adult Halloween costumes you see these days. Many are grotesque, a few are offensive and off-color, and several—ladies, I’m talking to you—try way too hard to be sexy. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to walk into an office building and be greeted by a guy with fake blood running down his shirt, or a woman dressed as a sexy nurse.

Another consideration is that many people don’t celebrate Halloween for religious reasons. Why risk alienating an employee, or clients for that matter, just to bring some levity to the workplace?

Bottom line: Save your dressing up for trick or treating with the kids or that big Halloween party at your friend’s house—just not the office.

Don’t Fall for These Autumn Beauty Blunders

I personally love fall, but what I don’t love are the sloppy beauty mistakes that tend to arrive with the chillier temperatures. Avoiding the situations below will keep you looking fabulous while exuding professionalism all season long.

-The “Fake and Bake” look: A faux golden glow may have been kosher for summer, but now it just looks garish and unrealistic. Do you think people really believe that you slipped off to Dubai for the weekend? Instead of smearing on the self-tanner, enhance your natural complexion with a luminous powder with just a hint of tint for a healthy, beautiful radiance.

-Dry skin distress: Harsh winds and low temperatures can wreak havoc on our skin, leaving it dry and parched. Moisturize regularly with lotion, coat lips with a healing balm like Carmex (running a toothbrush over your lips also works wonders for removing flakes), and exfoliate regularly. Another trick to try: Before bedtime, coat your hands and feet in heavy layers of rich moisturizing lotion, then slip on cotton gloves and socks (which you can get at most drugstores) and leave them on overnight. You’ll wake up with irresistibly smooth skin!

-Hairy leg syndrome: Women have a tendency to be more lax about shaving their legs during the chilly months because they figure they won’t be flashing bare legs. That’s fine if you plan to wear trousers and tall boots all season, but don’t think you can get away with wearing tights over your hairy legs unnoticed. Either stick with trousers, get back to shaving, or treat yourself to a monthly wax so you don’t have to worry about regular maintenance.

-Flyaway hair: Are those gusts of wind whipping your locks into a frenzy? Consult with your hairstylist to create a manageable ‘do—with the help of hair accessories if necessary—that will hold up to those icy blasts. A weekly deep-conditioning treatment is also great for keeping hair healthy and nourished, while detangler is a must for fighting those rat’s nests that tend to form when your hair rubs against the nape of your coat.

-The overly smokey eye: Smokey eyes are a perennial fall makeup trend, but keep in mind that there’s a time and a place for dramatic peepers. In other words, heavy black-coated lids may look sexy and mysterious at a cocktail party, but they’re not appropriate for the office. Instead, create a more subdued smokey eye with a lighter gray palette or autumnal plums and hunter greens.

Staying on Top of Fall’s Color Trends

In a perfect world, we’d all have unlimited shopping budgets that let us stock up on all the new trends each season.

In reality, though, we have to be careful with our money, and therefore need to pick and choose which seasonal trends we try to work into our wardrobe. One simple way to do this? Color.

Each season designers tend to focus on a specific palette—usually pastels for spring, vivid neon hues from this past summer, etc. If you can’t afford to snag every new style that’s in the shops now, focus on adding at least one piece—preferably something versatile, like a scarf, handbag, or coat, which you’ll wear on a near-daily basis—in one of this season’s “in” colors. Not only is it a fabulous way to break up the typical black and charcoal gray cold weather wear, but it also adds visual interest and keeps you looking up-to-date and seasonally appropriate.

So what’s on our color radar this season? Hunter green, rich aubergine, and peacock blue are popular autumn hues, while here in Atlanta it seems to be all about reds and berry tones (from raspberry to plum).

And before you protest and say, “I can’t wear red!,” keep in mind that there are no “bad” colors—just bad shades. For instance, if you can’t pull off a bright cherry red, try a darker brick red. If dark purple doesn’t suit you, consider a vibrant plum. Work with your complexion, but don’t eliminate a color based on one shade.

Another option? Taking your color down south. Color affects our complexion when it frames our face; if we move it away from our face in the form of trousers, a skirt, heels, or a bag, a color or shade that is typically “off limits” has no impact on whether we look tired or radiant.

That said, there’s nothing better than finding a color that really lights up your face when you wear it, especially if it’s seasonally appropriate. And since red—whichever shade works best for you—may not always fly at the office, I recommend investing in a beautiful red scarf to frame the face and pop against your dark winter coat. What a great way to make last year’s coat look completely fresh!