With Thanksgiving just a few weeks away, now seems like an excellent time to brush up on our etiquette. As much as we love our families, everyone has one or two difficult relatives that can make the holidays a stressful time, but a little etiquette refresher will help you keep your cool as you diffuse what could turn into a dramatic situation.
Take the person who just can’t stop talking. Maybe it’s an older relative who doesn’t realize you’ve all heard his or her stories 300 times, or maybe it’s just a Chatty Cathy who manages to steer every topic of conversation into a monologue about her “fascinating” life. Yes, talking non-stop and interrupting others is bad etiquette on their part, but since they probably don’t realize that they’re talking everyone’s ears off it’s up to you to exercise a little control over the situation—otherwise you’ll go insane!
If someone starts telling a story that you and everyone at the table has heard so many times you can repeat it word for word—and it’s not a cherished anecdote that you’d like to hear again—nod politely and say, “Oh yes, I think I remember you telling us about this” or something to that effect. Acknowledge it in a way that makes the teller think that the story was a memorable or interesting one (you can smile or chuckle), but make it clear that you don’t need to hear the story again.
You can also stop someone blathering on and on by redirecting the conversation over to someone else. You don’t have to interrupt—which is rude—but you can wait for a small pause as your opportunity to interject. For instance, if Aunt Sheila is talking incessantly about the cats that belong to her friend’s cousin’s daughter (none of whom you know), wait for a pause and then say, “Oh, that reminds me—Cousin Jeff, your family has a new pet, don’t you?” Jeff can then respond and other people will have a chance to join in the conversation.
If all else fails, you can always use food, drinks or a Thanksgiving activity as a segue. If someone is going on and on and you can tell everyone else has had it, interject by asking the table if they’d like coffee or tea, or suggest that everyone move into the living room to watch the big game. If you have a child, ask the talker if they mind keeping an eye on the kid while you do dishes or check on the turkey; this will keep them occupied and not so chatty!
Most importantly, don’t shush or snap at the big talker. Yes, their behavior is annoying, but you don’t want to aggravate the situation by telling them to shut up or rudely cutting them off—trust me, you’ll regret it.
How frustrating! This just illustrates how a lack of communication and good business sense can tarnish your image and even cause you to lose clients. The woman should have updated her voice mail and email auto responder to reflect that she was out while providing an alternate contact for pressing matters, and the receptionist should have informed my friend and other clients earlier that the woman was out, and offered to direct her to someone who could help in the interim. As it was, my friend came out of the exchange feeling ignored and like she had gotten the run-around.
As we all know, Halloween arrives this weekend. Now, I love a good holiday as much as the next person, but I have to draw the line at dressing up in costume at the office. A trend I’ve noticed with increasing regularity over the years is for offices to completely lose themselves in the holidays. Halloween banners are hung up everywhere, bowls of candy corn surface on everyone’s desks, and employees trade in their professional suits and pencil skirts for silly costumes.
So what’s on our color radar this season? Hunter green, rich aubergine, and peacock blue are popular autumn hues, while here in Atlanta it seems to be all about reds and berry tones (from raspberry to plum).
Regardless of age, it seems like just about everyone is on Facebook these days. True, social networking tools can make it easier to keep in touch with loved ones and old friends while helping you build a brand and reach a larger audience. That said, there are some unspoken rules that will make everyone’s Facebook experience much better. Read on for a few guidelines to Facebook etiquette.
Since everyone seems to have health care on the brain these days, now seems like a good time to cover medical etiquette. Between my work consulting for medical offices and my husband’s recent illness, I have seen both sides—patient and professional. Read on for etiquette tips to help make your medical interactions go more smoothly.
After contributing a chapter on technology etiquette to “Executive Image Power,” which came out this June, I had the pleasure of co-authoring a second book with three fellow Atlanta businesswomen. The working title is “Opportunity Meets Motivation: Lessons from Four Women who Built Passion into Their Careers and Lives” and is expected to debut in early 2010. This book is part biography, part how-to guide to give valuable insight into how to transform your career and start your own business without making the mistakes that we made. (Hey, what’s a journey without a few bumps in the road?)
O Magazine has a spread in its October issue about Lauren Hutton. She’s 66 and feels it’s absurd to feel you have to go by the rules four times a year when new fashions come out. I agree. Not everyone looks great in everything. However, I always recommend that one avoid looking outdated. One way to do this is to stay in tune with new trends and incorporate something new two or three times a year, whether it’s a handbag in the “it” color or a slight reshaping of your hairstyle.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: email etiquette is hugely important!